The Displeasure of Hedwig
by Nicoley117-TheBlueMartini
Summary: Hedwig and her thoughts on her name. OneShot


**Disclaimer: **I don't own it!!!

**A/N: **Hello All, again! (Well for some maybe-haha) I'm back with another kind of crazy and random fic once again. After writing the one about the Sorting Hat, I was told by some people to write another fic, so I decided to do one about Hedwig. Now, just so everyone knows-this fic was simply created just to be funny and entertaining…I don't really hate the name Hedwig (I don't necessarily love it either—I'm just ok with it). Anyways, I wrote this with the sole purpose of being weird, funny, and entertaining- not to seem like I'm expressing distaste to a character name J.K. chose. It's all for fun people—ALL FOR FUN! Now onto the story!

**The Displeasure of Hedwig**

So I've got an owner now-someone to take care of me. It's what I've always wanted. Someone gets to look after me, feed me, and send their letters through me. I finally have that. And along with all that, I even have a really famous owner…I feel so honored to deliver his letters. He is the one and only Harry Potter-The Boy Who Lived!

I, however, have soon regretted my desire for an owner.

You know why?

Well, of course you don't.

No one knows what goes on in my mind.

Or maybe you do?

I have no idea if legilimency gives you the ability to read animals' minds.

Well, anyway, I suppose we should get to the point of this.

I absolutely despise my name.

You'd think someone so famous would give me a splendid name-BUT NO!

I'm named after something that sounds like you'd find it in a beauty parlor.

Hedwig

That's my name. See-its kind of got the word 'head' in it and the word 'wig' was thrown in! What kind of name is that!

I'm sorry. I just don't care for this name that is now mine. I wish I had a prettier name. I mean, I am a pretty owl and deserve a pretty name, don't I?

I would love the name Valerie…

See? Now that's a pretty name for an owl like me!

You know what-Penguin would even be an interesting name for me! Yes-Penguin! It could make people confused and bewildered-which is amusing most of the time (for me at least).

Ah, yes-the fusion of confusion. Oh, how I admire it.

I just cannot help but feel hurt by this name!

It hurts my feelings.

I feel oh so insulted by it!

It makes me want to puke.

I find it that horrible.

Come on now, I want to feel loved!

Where is the Love? –As the Black Eyed Peas would say! (You don't even want to know how I know about the Black Eyed Peas!)

You know, Harry really needs to learn legilimency so he can read my mind…if that is even possible. You know-there should be something that allows you to read animals' minds. I would find that extremely useful. That way, you'd be able to always know what animals need! And we would no longer receive quizzical facial expressions looking back at us every single time we do something that may seem a bit out of the ordinary. We need like a…pet psychic! All of our problems would be solved if people could read our minds. Ah, that would be the life….

_-Sighs dreamily-_

Oh dear! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! Besides the fact that I am beginning to act like C-3PO from Star Wars, I have just discovered something. Something that is bad! Very, very bad. I have discovered a fault in my ideal life of having witches and wizards reading our minds! Why would I want them to be able to constantly read our thoughts?! We aren't necessarily innocent owls. We do have the occasional _naughty _thoughts that come across our minds…and I wouldn't want them to find out about that! That is personal!

Ah, I am now confused and at a loss as to what I want. Do I really want people to read my minds or not?

This problem is exactly like an oreo cookie. (I've had one of those before- they are oh so good!) I am like the cream of the oreo. Now, if you are normal, when you eat an oreo cookie-you typically pull that oreo cookie apart. And then, after you pull the cookie apart- _MOST OF THE TIME_ the majority of the cream ends up on only one half of the cookie. To me, that is like being stuck in a dilemma. You're stuck in the middle and eventually have to pick which side you are going to take. I am the cream of the oreo cookie!

Then again-why am I thinking about all of this?!?! It's not like some law is being made that wizards and witches should be trained for legilimency for animals' minds! At the time being-it isn't happening! I'm trying to figure out why I was even thinking about this in the first place.

Oh, that's right. This was a rant--a rant about my name.

I shall continue my rant.

Now, I know that Harry found my name in "A History of Magic" but couldn't he have found a much better name in there? I mean, there are many fun and spiffy wizarding names out there!

Oh, Harry-you disappoint me so! I am so distraught over this that you have caused me to rant to these poor, innocent souls who decided to read this.

Shame on you, Harry!

I think I shall calm myself down from all this by taking a little flight to somewhere. Where, you may ask. Well, I don't even know myself.

-------------------------------------------

So while I was flying, I ended up going to a muggle park. Oh, how random of me.

I landed on a picnic table, in which I noticed a book lying there, opened to a certain page.

It looked like a book that had something to do with Muggles. I was intrigued, so I took a look at it.

Now, in case you didn't know…I am a very intelligent owl. So intelligent-that I can read!

So when I looked down on the page, I saw something that caught my eye.

"_Saint Hedwig is commonly known as a patron saint of orphans and abandoned children."_

Oh, wow. I did not know about this! I was not aware that my name was so special and was the name of a saint who represents those poor souls! I feel so honored to have the name now!

In fact, I feel as if I just might cry! –_tear tear-_

I will proudly keep my name!

In fact, I might even wear a nametag just so everyone knows how proud I am to have earned the name, Hedwig!

But then again, muggles might get suspicious.

I'm still proud to have the name though!

And now I shall fly back to Harry and be as chipper as ever, just so he knows I'm glad to have the name, Hedwig.

Oh no…my vision is becoming all blurry now because of my tears.

I'll probably crash into a tree or something.

Oh well.

_The End_

**A/N: **Well I hope everyone enjoyed it. Although, I do like my Sorting Hat Fic better than this one…meh, oh well lol. It took me a while to figure out an ending to this, so when I ended up doing some research on Hedwig, I found out how J.K. ended up choosing the name so then I was all like 'OOO! I NOW HAVE AN ENDING!' So now I can thank J.K. for writing the awesome Harry Potter series which allowed me to write this fanfic along with her reason of choosing to use the name Hedwig for giving me an ending. THANK YOU, J.K.!

Oh and in case anyone was wondering…I totally came up with that oreo cookie analogy! Haha, I was actually in a dilemma and I was eating an oreo cookie and it just came to me…lol. Yeah, so if you were wondering…

Hmm what else to talk about? Well, as you can see, I seem to enjoy writing the thoughts of magical things from Harry Potter. So, you know of any magical things you want me to write the thoughts for? Let me know…Maybe I'll write a fic about it-hehe

Please Review!

-Love Lady Blue (or Nicole since most on this site already know that…)


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